Mid-May Musings REPORT
Current state = books, writing, thinking ahead. Oh, and flowers!
We’re halfway through May! The sun is finally shining. We kind of switched from winter straight to summer and I am just thankful for warmth at this point.
I’m somewhere between day job substitute teaching, chasing a full-time writing dream, and wondering if reading counts as productivity (spoiler: I think it does. It should be.).
I’m still finishing up the school year, subbing during the weekdays, which means my energy levels fluctuate wildly depending on the age group or student I’m wrangling. Some days I come home buzzing with ideas, other days when I get my steps in and more, I collapse into a nap and call it a win if I open my Substack app and comment on some beautiful writings by you including…
But the goal— making writing my full-time gig one day even if it feels far away right— still hums steadily in the background even while I am not writing anywhere but on here more often than not. Loud enough that I can’t ignore it, quiet enough that it doesn’t overwhelm me.
Not quite a routine yet, but we’re flirting with one.
What I’m Reading
I finally picked up Binding 13 by Chloe Walsh and it’s reminding me why I fell in love with the terribly slow-burn, character-driven stories in the first place (though I oddly wanted more rugby??).
It bring me back to my early reading days that yearns for the angst. Romancing the Phone also had a really good post about this recently.
I also started Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors. It’s early days still of reading, but I can already tell it’s going to be one of those stories that lingers. I feel like I’ve fallen into each of the sisters’ stories and I’m invested.
Maybe I am seeing why so many people rave about this one and Coco Mellors? Probably.
Reading these has helped me reconnect with the emotional depth I want to tap into in my own writing I know, even if I haven’t figured out what that writing is just yet.
Of course, the new Emily Henry book is also on deck for me after my wonderful Mystery Man picked it up as a surprise to me. Book surprises are the best surprises, aren’t they?
On my library pile I also have quite a few books on deck including…
Never Keep by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti because I don’t know why (I never finished the well-known Zodiac Academy books yet tbh after I got too invested and thus angry at something that happened).
I also picked up The Wishbone Kitchen Cookbook by that I paged through already but planned to read a bit more in depth before I need to return. As you know, I’ve been on a cookbook kick lately.
On Writing
Okay, so… this is the hard part. I haven’t written much this week. Or rather, I haven’t written anything solid. I’ve jotted down lines, fragments, weird snippets of dreams, and stray sentences that may or may not belong together. There’s no plot, no clear project, just a growing file of things that feel like they might be something someday.
And maybe that’s enough for now.
I’ve been trying to quiet the voice that says, “You should know what you’re writing.” I don’t. But I’m showing up to the page, even if it’s with uncertainty in one hand and caffeine in the other.
Happy List
Opened my journal almost every day. Kind of. It’s getting better. At least half the time, okay??
My Hatch is still being very good to me even with early 4 a.m. wake up calls this past week.
Read instead of doomscrolling before bed (okay, again, most nights).
Allowed myself to not know what I’m writing, but still thinking about it without having mini panics— if you know, this is kind of a big deal.
It’s warm out which makes me nostalgic for my time in New York and France again.
My candle warmer being the perfect ambience for these slow darkness nights.
Along with my book, I received flowers this week! There is something so sweet of getting a gift unexpectedly, and this is coming from someone who never thought they were a gift love language person at all.
Little cups of coffee with the perfect amounts of cream.
Also, taking my morning coffee OUTSIDE. Sometimes wrapped up in a cozy blanket.
Talking more with other writers here on Substack and in general— need to find my wonderful creative community again to spark the creative flame I think.
Meeting back up with old friends.
Looking Forward
My goal for the next week isn’t word count. It’s habit.
I want to show up consistently, not perfectly while writing and reading a bit more, even though the next week is a bit busier than the past few.
Even 10 or 20 minutes a day with distractions muted, would be a step in the right direction. And maybe I’ll find a story idea tucked somewhere in my mind that makes me feel like I have to write just a little bit more.
If you’re also in a weird in-between season— creatively or otherwise—I understand. I’m here for you. Let’s keep showing up, even when it’s messy. We can talk more about it down below in the comments.
Until next week, let me know how yours has been!
